Inspirer: Tia Graham
Home-Schooling Mother and Popular Blogger
Every now and then I hear a story that really moves me – something that goes beyond swapping one career for another. A tale that really makes me stop and think about life, the situations we're thrown in and the choices we make. This is one such tale – the story of Tia Graham, a mother of five, who has discovered the true meaning of finding your own voice. Her authenticity, openness and creativity have not only impressed me, but have also made an impact on the 5000 unique visitors to her personal blog every month. Tia is a self-proclaimed blogger and 'blogsultant', as well as a mother who home-schools four children, among numerous other hats she wears on a day to day basis.
Her Story
Tia, her husband David and her children lived in Florida, with family just around the corner; they had carved out a busy and enjoyable life. At that time, David was in Customer Service and Tia was a stay-at-home Mom. But in 1999, their life underwent a dramatic change – they were dealt a cruel and traumatic blow – the death of one of their children. I don't think of any of us want to even imagine what that must have been like.
Each person copes in their own way and for Tia and her husband, engulfed in grief and in Tia's words feeling "hounded, hunted and victimized", they felt they no longer had the strength to sacrifice anymore. So to make life non-confrontational in every way, they did whatever was necessary to put off dealing with discomfort...sometimes this meant using credit to extend their income, other times it meant not opening bills that they did not want to face. It meant not having conversations that may have been difficult and letting everything accumulate.
"Financial credit is just like emotional credit; it's a way to put off for tomorrow what you don't want to admit to (and deal with) today."
So they arrived at this point where not only had they suffered a huge loss, but they were facing the strains of debt as well.
"Relationships were distant and tense; most of our lifestyle encompassed things we didn't want to spend our lives doing...like hours spent in traffic, a job David didn't like and a climate that made us exhausted."
Time For Change
Something had to change. So after much earnest conversation and exploration of possibilities, they went to the mountains on vacation and enjoyed a change of scenery. This was the impetus for change that they needed to propel them. They came home, sold their house, paid off most of their debts, packed pack up their car and left behind all that they'd know in Florida to start a new life in Tennessee.
It was around this point that Tia's brother-in-law (doubtless recognizing she had a talent for writing) set up a blog site for her as a gift – a vehicle for her to express her thoughts and feelings on day to day life. So Tia, who had always been interested in being a writer, started blogging. Here's her very first blog post recalling leaving everything in Florida to go live in Tennessee.
A Transparent Life
And so it began...regular blogging about their new life and the ups and downs they faced, all the time in an authentic, open and honest way. Visitors to her blog site started becoming curious about how they were coping as a family of six, on an initial salary of $25,000 pa, while beginning a financial makeover aided by an expert in this field. Her thought-provoking insights on life began attracting thousands of viewers per month, many of them inspired by their ethos that "your suffering does not have to be permanent." In their new community, they began to find people in similar situations who were finding their way out of poverty debt and they proactively formed a supportive network. Knowing they were not alone and that it's not forever gave people hope.
"There's a lie of affluence we have going on in the USA...we're constantly pretending we have more than we do, when most of it is charged on credit card. We wanted to tell the truth with our lifestyle. Finding financial freedom was also healing a good portion of our grief and restoring hurt relationships; living a life of honesty, even with its imperfections, was better than years of trying to pretend things weren't as they were."
She blogged regularly about the lure of the plastic lifestyle and her most popular posts were about them falling down on their financial spending and deciding to get back up. People began to identify with their struggle to gain control of their finances and became very interested in their approach to living a more wholesome lifestyle. Tia mentions two main sources of inspiration to her around this time – a money makeover consultation from Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover and also watching the topical film 'The Secret'. Tia explains "we are becoming an example of people who take these ideas to heart and make them part of the way we live our lives...the results are real; the results are us."
Slowly, they got used to living within their means and learned to make it fun. Blog viewers were keen to hear about the trials and tribulations of home-schooling four children as well as what it takes to live a holistic, self-sustaining lifestyle. Tia was shocked by just how popular her blog was becoming, She explains "my message was popular – honesty and openness – people were encouraged by it and realized that it was just about us trying to live honestly and not pretend to be something we're not. It was a big shedding of lies." The realization dawned on her that her writing, which had been her passion for years, was something that she could actually create a living out of.
Opportunity Awaits
So this year finds Tia making plans for her first book and also launching her new website TheBlogsultant.com, offering consulting, design and management services to people looking to increase traffic to their blog sites.
"We had already lost everything we could lose – I realized anything is survivable. No matter what happens, you have to get up and eat the next day. You go through more grief than you ever imagined when you lose a child. The mess that's left in your life is encompassing and lingers for a long time and it really hurts...but you realize that you have to get up and that your child would want you to."
Authenticity
The reason why I find Tia's story so inspirational is because she found a way to navigate herself through her suffering and in doing so, found her own voice. I believe her authenticity and courage will be richly rewarded spiritually, financially and emotionally because of this great leap of faith she took in sharing her life with the world.
